We all love to hear ourselves talk. Our brains actually light up and we feel good. But, if we are blinded by our own thoughts, we’re not leaving room for others to contribute. They turn off. Think how this affects “how deals get done, projects get run, and profits get earned”, writes Judith E. Glaser.
Here’s her formula for recognizing your own blind spots and become a more effective communicator and influencer:
• Assuming that others see what you see, feel what you feel, and think what you think, since that’s rarely the case
• Failing to recognize that emotions, such as fear and distrust, change how you and others interpret and talk about reality
• Thinking you understand and remember what others say, when you really only remember what you think about what they’ve said.
• Underestimating your own propensity to have conversational blind spots
• Paying attention to and minimizing the time you “own” the conversational space
• Sharing that space by asking open-ended discovery questions, to which you don’t know the answers, so you stay curious (i.e., What influenced your thinking?)
• Listening non-judgmentally to the answers
• Asking follow-up questions
Judith E. Glaser is CEO of Benchmark Communications, Inc. and Chairman of The Creating WE Institute. She is an Organizational Anthropologist, and consults to Fortune 500 Companies. Judith is the author of 4 best-selling business books, including her newest,Conversational Intelligence: How Great Leaders Build Trust and Get Extraordinary Results (Bibliomotion, 2013) Visit www.conversationalingelligence.com; www.creatingwe.com; firstname.lastname@example.org or call 212-307-4386.